A talking pearl earring. A gleaming white unicorn. A flower from an ogre.

Sandy Blunt, witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy talent is for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that gift, she unwittingly foretells the future for a pretty princess. The punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death. With the help of ill-assorted companions, including a self-proclaimed princess in disguise with a wild imagination, a self-absorbed member of the royal guard, and the not-so-average girl next door, Sandy has a year and a day to travel to far-flung places--encountering such dangerous creatures as a dragon who writes awful poetry, slovenly elves, and boarding house landladies--to collect the weird and magical items needed to turn her prophecies into promises and so evade the executioner.

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Review

''L-J Baker blasts through the fourth wall and high fantasy cliches alike in this charming, tightly-plotted, and surprisingly romantic book. If you've ever wanted a fantasy where lesbians have all the adventures and win true love in the end, you need to pick this up now.'' --JoSelle Vanderhooft

''L-J Baker, whether intentional or not, gives a firm nod to the awless stylings of Robbins, but has the joyous temerity to tweak Pynchon and Joyce. She gleefully butt-smacks us with the flighty hint of texture and eloquence, and rolls the rest of the story in a tart, sexy, and surprisingly politically charged wrapper. The result is a deliciously smart-*ssed and irreverent tale of heros, dirty underwear, love-lorn dragons, and a world that would be a lot better off if we all stopped to kiss the dimples.'' --The Rainbow Reader

About the Author

L-J lives in New Zealand with her wonderful spouse, Fran. They have one dog, three cats, some cattle, and lots of chickens. Together they make cheese, brew beer, grow their own veggies, and laugh a lot. This is L-J s fourth published fantasy book, and her first attempt at a humorous one. L-J can be found online at the Lesbian Fiction Forum: new members most welcome.